A love for words was imparted to me by my mother, a literature teacher, and has provided strength upon strength to me through the years. Periodically, I would like to share some poems and how they helped shape my thoughts on raising children. The first of these is by the first poet laureate, Robert Frost, called The Pasture.
I’m going out to clean the pasture spring;
I’ll only stop to rake the leaves away
(And wait to watch the water clear, I may):
I sha’n’t be gone long.—You come too.
I’m going out to fetch the little calf
That’s standing by the mother. It’s so young,
It totters when she licks it with her tongue.
I sha’n’t be gone long.—You come too.
It’s hard to imagine a life where you can invite your child to come to work with you but that was reality for most people until the past 100 years. It could be a pasture or bakery or clock shop but parents took their kids along. They do better when we include them in what we are doing.
One of my favorite bits of parenting advice came from a man we all called Super Duper. “Have your kid help you change the doorknob even though it will take 45 minutes longer.” His point was to demonstrate even though jobs get harder, having your children do the work with you is worth it.
The time spent with your child guarantees exposure to each other. Both of you will learn more about how the other handles stress, solves problems, and reacts emotionally to work. Opportunities to work together give you a better sense of who your child was made to be, informing you on how to nurture their growth and building the child’s self esteem.
Alternatively, this poem reminds me of one of the clear pictures of parenting that the Bible has to give. Deuteronomy 6:6-9 tells us, “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door-frames of your houses and on your gates.”
Take your lessons with you into every part of life; at home, elsewhere, at rest, and at work. In the pew or kneeling at a broken door, you are teaching your children through actions and then through words. Be conscious of the lessons you want them to learn and do your best, that’s enough.